Thursday 18 August 2011

Why do we give them bad names?

After reading Sofia Ahmed's article about how people from Azad Kashmir are mistreated and given disrespectful names (such as freshie and mangethar) by British born Kashmiris, I felt that I should share some of my thoughts. I agree with almost every point Sofia makes in her article, however, I feel that she is only presenting one side of the argument. I know this article might not go down well with some people, but I'm not here to sell flowers, I present the truth as I have seen it through my own experiences. If anybody would like examples then I have several real-life examples that I can share without of course mentioning any names.

In Sofia's article, we find out about an innocent lost boy who we all have sympathy for. However, I think we must ask ourselves, how many of the boys that come over from AJK are in the situation that this poor young man is in? There may have been plenty of his kind a decade ago, but today in 2011, we are faced with a new breed of incoming youngsters. These are the guys that roam the streets of the Bazaar on their motorbikes, have the latest mobile phone and keep themselves up to date with 'international culture' through the Internet, satellite television, etc. Nothing wrong so far, no problems whatsoever. But it's when we do a little bit of digging, we realise that what goes on in inside their brain (i.e. their attitude and outlook in life) is somewhat disturbing. They have no real interest in education or work, they have money coming in from England, life is easy for them. They don't need to study or work in AJK because they are going to England one day, the land where dreams come true...

They feel that it's their right to select any one of their cousins (you bet they'll go for the prettiest one) and get married in order to fly abroad and live the life they've seen in the movies. So far so good or may be not so good, you decide for yourself. Amongst friends they will discuss their plans for England, questions like which nightclubs are you going to visit, how many girlfriends are you going to make, etc. are all pretty damn common. Remember the wife is just to get to England, once there - new friends and opportunites will open up. The wife will keep some control till the good old Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR) status is obtained, after that she will be crying at her fate and start to question why her parents had betrayed her by getting her married to a total clown. The poor wife won't have much of a choice, either she puts up with her husband's lifestyle (extramarital affairs are common) or she gets a divorce which will make things worse for her. Despite her husband being so 'modernised', he will always lecture his wife on how she mustn't work or go out with friends because in his head - it's ok for him to do as he pleases but his wife must be perfect.

Why did all this happen? Because somebody thought marriage was a joke, somebody made a mockery of something as sacred and pure as marriage. The girl's parents wanted their nephew to live a better life and support his parents back home, the girl wanted to obey her parents as would any good daughter. The son in law wanted to land in England and enjoy the life of his dreams. When the foundations of marriage are wrong, then what chances of success do we have? We must put this question to our community before more lives are ruined.

Now there are many good guys that come over, they spend their time working hard and long hours, they are the ones that do not deserve the bad names but because of a few idiots, even they are given the same label.

Sameer Hussain &

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